My clarinet professor throws his nicorette gum across the room to the trash can, looks up and admonishes the class not to be too tempted by the beauty of the beaches. "You're in a beautiful place, but stay on track, make sure you are practicing." In his welcome to a new eager studio, the warning is short-lived as we all pile 20 minutes later into a car and head for Santa Monica.
Last Tuesday night in LA it was supposed to be just a windstorm. 24 hours later, entire cities are devastated. And currently, five active fires continue to rage. I'm getting the news on screens, in short, heartbreaking posts from friends and one-sentence "marked safe" updates. My oboe colleague at work posted "my high school is gone, Pali is gone".
I'm gutted for the people, places, communities, schools, animals, historic buildings and collections. Los Angeles is so much to me: it witnessed lifelong friendships forged, an identity formed, the ups and downs of building a craft, emerging confidence, the place where yes, we practiced hard, and played hard.
The destruction is unfathomable. How will the city ever rebuild?
In life's long journey, we get all chopped up. We break or get burned and heal. We are constantly regenerating. We tear our muscles, they grow back stronger. We wake, then sleep. We fail, then succeed. Sometimes, we shatter into pieces.
The 15th c. Japanese art form of KINTSUGI reassembles shattered ceramics with molten gold to create the most exquisite (re)creations. A bowl, a tea pot, or cup has gilded, contoured veins that are known as precious scars.
As an earth being, you too carry precious scars. Along the way, you reconstitute yourself over and over. You heal. You aren't disfigured but instead transform into a marvelous example of a life well-lived.
Kintsugi teaches:
- we can turn adversity into something beautiful and resilient
- an ability to make the old new again, especially in a world that prizes youth and the new
- to embrace imperfections, celebrate instead of hiding or shaming them
- a way to reframe and find deeper meaning in life
- that setbacks don't diminish us, but adds depth and meaning to our experiences.
Across the totality of your life you gather beautiful scars, literally and emotionally - but remember, they reflect the wounds you've healed.
Back in Los Angeles. One of my most vivid memories was being in that studio at USC, feeling totally hopeless and broken after a concerto performance gone wrong. In tears, about to give up. I had an audition that I wanted to ditch, but my professor said, no, go do it, you're ready. Ever have that experience that when you're at your lowest, you feel a surprising source of strength and determination?
Well, the outcome of that audition meant 2 years in Germany for me, which is another story for another time!
What I do know is that LA will one day build back up from the ashes with a hidden strength, and that you can tap into a well of power even in the most challenging of times.
Much love -
Ixi
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